No, you’re not required you to sleep 4 hours every night!
I was thrilled when my husband and I started living together. I would go above and beyond to make the nicest meals, homemade sweets every two days… Plus I was making sure everything was perfectly clean at all times. Not to mention I wanted to be with him 24/7 and would rush to get back home even when I was out with friends.
But I realized at some point I was spending zero hours pampering myself. Don’t get me wrong, we were always having fun going out or watching a good movie. But I was lacking some alone time to read a book, write something, or simply take a walk by myself. In other words, you can forget how to find time for yourself when you enter a new role in life. So, I decided to make sure I have some time for myself every day, and here’s how I did it. Follow these tips and you can do it, too!
Let Go of Perfectionism.
Are you still running around, making sure there isn’t a speck of dust anywhere in the house, ever? Don’t! Stop! I’m not saying let your house become a mess, but don’t become a full-time employee at your own home, either. It’s only natural you’ll struggle figuring out how to find free time for yourself during a busy day if you let yourself have another full-time job. Decide when you’re going to be cleaning – every Saturday? Every other? I usually do the dusting and vacuuming one week, then the bathroom, kitchen, and floor the other – and then do nothing for at least the next week. I can promise you, nothing bad has happened yet.
Or you can even do it the way my mother-in-law does it – she cleans it like a pro when the guests are coming, but the rest of the time, she’s enjoying herself (well, minus the bathroom of course). Just don’t spend way too much time on it – and ideally, don’t do it alone, either. My husband helps me out on a regular. After all, he lives in this house as well! And if you want a way to enjoy that chore more, here it is.
Accept You’ll Have Lazy Days.
How to make time for self care? One of the answers is very simple, but it may take some getting used to: accept not all days need to be super productive! Some days, I make homemade tagliatelle with chicken and white sauce. On others, I take whatever’s pre-made from the freezer and pop it in the oven. If you just don’t have the energy some days (and pregnancy for me means I don’t most of the days now), takeout, a pizza, or a pre-made meal is just fine!
Add Your “Me Time” To Your Schedule
Some people enjoy drinking a cup of coffee alone in the morning – others can’t go without reading a book before they fall asleep. I’m a morning person, so I tend to start with my work as soon as I wake up. In turn, I’m done with it around 2-2:30pm, which gives me enough time for a Youtube yoga lesson before lunch is due. Or I’ll watch an episode of that TV show my husband doesn’t like. Whatever works for you, just decide when you’re going to have your Me Time. If you’re wondering how to find time for yourself as a working mom, it might be a little trickier, I’ll give you that – but not impossible.
Should you decide to have some Me Time in the morning, set your clock half an hour earlier. If it’s in the evening, get some candles and make it cozy once your kid is tucked in. No matter what your working hours are, chances are you can adjust, at least a few days a week – be it through cutting down on lunchtime thanks to takeout, or by waking up a bit earlier.
Don’t Feel Guilty!
Last but definitely not least! We tend to feel like it’s our job as women to cook, clean, hold our homes on our shoulders. But the year is 2021, and you are so much more than just a woman, just a wife, or just a mother. Knowing how to find time for yourself should come easy to us all, and not be a mathematical problem wherein you have 24 hours in a day, but 30 hours of work! You don’t owe it to anyone to live for them – so long as everyone’s fed, clothed, and you’re giving them enough attention to not be neglected, you have every right not to neglect yourself, either. A cup of coffee alone, a book on the balcony, or a night out with your friends won’t harm anyone, but they will give you so much more energy and you’ll go home happier.