Pregnancy

I am Pregnant and I Feel Miserable.

There, I said it – I am feeling sad during pregnancy, and that’s okay. I am writing this after a crying fit, and I just feel so tired, sad, and miserable. I’ve been on bed rest for almost 20 days, and it’ll last for at least two more months. I feel so useless, just capable enough to go to the bathroom ad to make myself a porridge bowl in the morning. Meanwhile, my husband has to take care of everything else and the guilt – despite it not being my fault – is eating me up.

My cervix was a bit shorter than it should have been, plus my baby boy is extremely low, pushing on it, and already positioned head-down. All of that means I can’t move without discomfort and pain. I’m home alone all day until 5pm, and even when he comes home, my husband is so busy with housework I barely get to speak to him.

I’m in pain, I’m alone, I’m sad – and I am miserable.

But none of that means I’m not so, so happy to be pregnant. I am so grateful we got pregnant on our first try. I am extremely grateful that our baby is healthy and growing so nicely. Every time he kicks (unless it’s painful) I enjoy it. I put my hand on my belly, I talk to him, and I am happier than ever.

The thing is, the two can coexist. You can be crying and feeling sad during pregnancy, and be so grateful for your baby. Accepting that pregnancy is not a perfectly magical time for everyone; that it can be tiresome and trying doesn’t take away from our love for our babies. There is this expectance that expectant mothers should be glowing and radiant; it should be the time of their lives!

But sometimes, it isn’t.

During my first trimester, I would get morning sickness (here are some remedies and recipes I found helpful) and migraines every 2-3 days. I would sleep for 10 hours a day while my husband and his family enjoyed the summer, and that was the first time I started feeling sad during pregnancy Then I had two really good months. And I still love the fact that people treat me like I’m something special. They get up for me on the bus, they have that warm smile, they just love me.

And despite it all, I get miserable at times. I am feeling sad and anxious during pregnancy more and more often. I sink, and I have every right to. We all do! If you suffer from nausea, headaches, are bloated, don’t like your new body, are in pain, stressed out… You have every right to be miserable. It doesn’t mean you’re betraying your baby, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Allow yourself to feel your feelings – unless you’re feeling extremely sad during pregnancy. In that case, you should definitely think about talking to an expert. If you’re troubled by anxiety, I have a piece on that – and I’m a Psychology bachelor offering free consultations about it.

If you’re are feeling especially depressed, you can find a professional on Talkspace to help you out. And if you use the code SPACE, you get $100 off your first month.

Feeling Sad During Pregnancy – In a Nutshell

Whatever it is you’re experiencing – sad feelings during pregnancy, anxiety – it’s okay, and there’s a way out of it. Just don’t fall into trap of having to feel super good and glowy all the time, because you don’t. And you’re not alone in this, either. Surround yourself with people who love and support you; do the things that bring you joy, and if need be, ring up a professional. And remember that at the end of this bumpy road, you get to hold your little bundle of joy.

Jelena
Jelena

A 27-year-old married mom-to-be, trying to have it all. I have a full-time job I enjoy, a home I’m in love with, and plenty of hobbies I try my best to have the time for. A psychologist by vocation, with the goal of helping young women live their best lives.

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