On Fears and Overcoming

Where I’m from, getting a driver’s license isn’t that easy. It takes a lot of time, money, and nerves, and most people (who are connected) end up simply bribing police officers into letting them pass.

My journey towards a driver’s license began some five years ago. I passed the written test multiple times, but failed the driving portion of it just as many.

Last year, I decided I was finally going to get that darned license — I had a baby on the way and we don’t exactly live in the city centre.

And just as my instructor was signing me up for the driving test, the doctors declared my pregnancy high-risk and I was put to bed rest.

Bye bye another chance to become a driver!

Once I gave birth, re-starting those lessons was simply not an option. And just as I was about to finally do it four months postpartum, this amazing job I have now happened — and once again, driving was not possible.

I honestly started to think I was simply not meant to be a driver. The Universe must be against me! So I essentially gave up on ever trying that again-

Until a few weeks back. I was at a friend’s house, and a convicted rapist was released from jail around that time. All of us young women were terrified of going anywhere alone when it’s dark outside (and in October, it gets dark pretty early).

So I ended up being driven halfway around the town by my maid of honor’s parents.

That’s when I decided I was yet again going to try: I’m going to be independent and be able to take myself places, rather than depending on the kindness of others all the time.

But after so many failures, I was torn about it.

  • What if I was just wasting more money and time?
  • What if I fail again?

But then I remembered my letter to myself written from 2022.

Virtually everything I told myself came true, with minor differences. From the day I would go into labor (and it wasn’t my due date) to the color of my baby’s hair and eyes (the hair changed at this point, but guessing brownish-red at any point is simply more than a coincidence when none of you are ginger) came true.

And among those lines, there’s one that says:

P.S. Yes, I did get my driver’s license as well. Finally!

Here’s to manifesting my driver’s license!

And while my blog growing and us getting a house didn’t happen (after all, every manifestation takes hard work), other things did. Like me getting a dream job (and a dream salary) and starting to save for the house. And those things happened because I worked so hard to make them happen.

And by God, I will work on overcoming my fear of failure and I will get that driver’s license by the end of this year.

You just watch me!

Jelena
Jelena

A 27-year-old married mom-to-be, trying to have it all. I have a full-time job I enjoy, a home I’m in love with, and plenty of hobbies I try my best to have the time for. A psychologist by vocation, with the goal of helping young women live their best lives.

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